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The Helford River Monster

The Helford River Monster

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A man named Hairy built a mammoth gig - single-handedly. It was eighty foot long and weighed - a lot. It needed 22 men to row it and more than that to lift it. This is the story of the man, his vision and the Hairy Monster Crew.

David 'Hairy' Harford wants to win the race; which is not an easy feat. The Great River Race covers 22-miles - a marathon rowing course up the Thames from Richmond to Greenwich - a lot further than Bishops Quay to the pub. The current record stands at 2 hours 6 minutes, held by a rather speedy Dragon Boat.

In 2004, Hairy and five other Helford Gig Club members had entered the race. They beat all others in their class by an easy margin; overall winner however was still an elusive way off. A hearty pint or more later and the monster folly was born. To win the race it had to be fast and it had to be big, it would be The Helford River Monster. An eighty foot 'super gig' rowed by 18 strapping Cornish men; it was a brilliant, magnificent plan, of course it would win, wouldn't it? A sobering drive back down the M5 and memories of the great glorious Helford beast were abandoned on the Thames shoreline. For Hairy however the monster only grew.

On the Helford rowing continued as normal, club members new and old joined in the socialising and blister agonising that the gig world is especially partial to. Competitions were won and lost and the season slid to a happy end. Hairy's monster idea didn't. He had started making models. With a eureka moment arriving in the form of GRP - a plastic cladding, used for road signs and Lorries - Hairy had nailed the skin of the super gig. Stretched around a few bulkheads this would form the cheap, low tech, easy to construct design he had been looking for. The rest of the men, whose monster had been left happily basking in the murky water of the Thames, thought he was mad. Dismissing his plan as downright daft, their imaginations did not stretch as far as Hairy's.

Some sketches, a two foot scale (not scaly) model and a few 'quiet' evenings later and support started to grow. Two friends, Simon and Ian, got on board - not literally. "Well Hairy, if you can build it, we will pay for it - and we really like the idea of building it on the day." Building it on the day?!

At this stage Hairy planned that the monster would not be launched before the day of the race - she would be taken to London in sections and constructed on the banks of the river - The Great River Race would be her maiden voyage. A fittingly bonkers idea. Thankfully this part of the plan was not followed through and The Helford River celebrated her maiden launch in August 2006.

Built in a concerted effort over three and a half weeks in a field on the banks of the Helford Hairy Harford followed through his plan. In doing so he caught the imagination of the river, both here and in London.

With her maiden voyage celebrated in champagne style at The Ferry Boat Inn, locals and the media gathered in wonder as the great white monster performed her first elegant 'row-by'. With 18 seats up for grabs the game was now on to find 18 men willing and able to take part in the next stage of the challenge - to win the race. Coming through her sea trials well - no leaks as such - she did not turn out to be as fast as first anticipated. Retiring for a Tribute to mull it over, the problem was overcome in much the same vein as the plan was hatched - more seats - more power - of course!

Back on the banks Hairy juggled the space to accommodate four more rowers; "Heaven knows if it will work, if it will be fast and if we can either stay in time, or be on time. But it will be a riot, and we're only here once."

On 16th September The Helford River Monster joined 273 other rowing craft on the banks of The Thames. With her impressive size and monstrous hairy Helford crew the organisers celebrated her mightiness, citing her favourite to win. For this honour they also burdened her with the worst handicap in the entire race. She would leave the start line last, a full 1 hour 29 minutes after the first boat - mission impossible? As the men left the start line 22 oars hit the water in perfect time - not bad for a crew that had never rowed together before. Practice runs had always been a mish-mash of members, including ladies, juniors and even complete novices. Brian the cox called out the rate, sending a chorus of counts back up the boat. So long is she that the bow rower cannot hear the cox's call.

Knowing the crew was after the record, each boat they passed willed them on with cry's of encouragement. Quickly passing canoes, skiffs, gigs and even dragons, The Helford River Monster, the longest boat ever to compete in the event, ploughed its way up the Thames. Supporters lined the bridges returning the men's shouts of 'Oggy Oggy Oggy' with a chorus of 'Oy Oy Oy'. With St Pirans flag flying proud it was a scene to behold. The sights of London... Houses of Parliament... Tate Modern... the London Eye passed in a zennorbluer, the men by this stage could focus on nothing but their oars. Dragging the blades through the water at a punishing 38 strokes a minute, the rate was taking its toll.

Shortly after The Monster had left the start line the lock had been closed, shutting off a critical tidal flow. In their calculations the tide would make up three of the essential eleven knots needed to beat the record. Being the last boat to leave they would have no advantage of any tidal flow; the whole race would have to be rowed on their effort alone. With this kind of speed to keep up the record looked distant indeed.

When they finally crossed the line the exhausted crew had overtaken 268 boats, finishing fifth across the line. It had taken them a valiant 2 hours and 27 minutes. Whilst neither the record nor first place ended up in their possession, Hairy's crew set hearts and imaginations alive with the spectacle of their monster. A resounding message that trail blazing inspiration is alive and well in Cornwall.seasalt news ...be inspired

Chloe Wild

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"Heaven knows if it will work, if it will be fast and if we can either stay in time, or be on time. But it will be a riot, and we're only here once."

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